Such happens when one or the other is seen as a slave or without dignity.
Often the perpetrator has a very low sense and no value for human dignity that he/she has no compunction in denigrating or intimidating a mate or one's partner.
But no child of God is a slave.
To be domestically violent and abusive in your relationship or marriage is to be an anti-Christ and to deny the reality of the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ that raised human life to the level of dignity rather than slavery.
Also, to stay in an abusive relationship or marriage for the sake of God or your children is to live in bondage and bear false witness to the death and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ that set us free.
It means you do not believe in the freedom we have been given through the resurrecting power in the blood of Jesus on the cross.
Christ is the One victim who dies no more.
None of us deserves to be made a victim.
When Jesus cried out “it is finished" our destiny unto freedom was established, and forever you are free.
You abuse your partner because of your false belief in who you are, because of your quest for external power.
Only a toxic Christianity encourages violence.
The moment you surrender to God every false notion you have of yourself and your identity changes.
The moment you become free, treating your partner as tenderly as God treats him or her you are living free from bondage of sin and you'll experience healing from sickness.
You need not ask if you are in flow with God as an abusive partner because you are clearly against God and His creation.
Seek healing and seek the truth of your true identity both for the abused and the abuser. Staying in an abusive relationship or marriage is educating your children falsely in that marriage, which is a key factor in marriage.
There is room for separation while you raise your children and forgive and pray for your Abuser (Canon 1153).
You are an enabler when you stick with a domestically violent and an abusive person because without you there won’t be violence in the first place.
You must know that every domestically violent or abusive partner is sick and needs help, and unfortunately you are not the right person to help him or her heal.
Women are mostly the vulnerable ones in most cases of abuse and domestic violence.
This flows from a Christianity that is preached to make a woman look like a zombie that cannot make decisions for herself, or that they need a man before being validated or considered virtuous, or that they cannot walk away from a toxic marriage because they are judged by their marital status or made to believe leaving a toxic relationship is a sin.
Women, you have to walk away from him to save your life and to help him heal.
Your absence will bring an emptiness in him which will draw him closer to his healing. Many boys trapped in man's body spirituality stupidity, oppression, and evil.
He has to change. God loves him and will put him on the right spot for his healing and conversion. Hiding evil is participating in that evil.
You must stand with Christ for the truth for the sake of God and the sake of your children and their relationships in the future. Our life is beautiful and complete in God.
He who abuses or enables domestic violence has no God in him or her. John 10:10 – “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come so that they may have life and have it to the full.”